Hi. My name is Zoraida Cordova and I’m the author of the upcoming urban fantasy The Vicious Deep. It’s about the return of the Sea Court to the coast of Coney Island.
So close to the book’s release, I’ve been searching. “Searching?” you ask.
“Yes,” I say. “Searching the beaches of Coney Island.” I’ve been on the lookout for a certain merman. If I know one thing about how to catch a merman, it is that you need a good bikini, some fried stuff (he thinks it’s calamari), and a little bit of sea mead.
Sorry, he’s actually here right now and he’s finished ALL the “calamari.”
Z: Hi Tristan.
T: What’s up?
Z: That’s it? That’s all I get? I bring you this delicious meal, extra crispy. YOUR FAVORITE? And seaweed beer and all you have to say is What’s Up?
T: Uh….You look nice. White goes well with your hair color.
Z: Well, when you put it that way–
T: I don’t want to be rude, but, how come you called me?
Z: I’m your creator. I wanted to show you off on my blogs.
T: That’s cool.
Z: As you know, I wrote your story
T: (yeah, without my permission)
Z: *louder* I wrote your STORY because mermaids are shiny and pretty–
T: I’m all man, lady! And it’s merman. Merbro, if you prefer.
Z: Because you’re not on the cover of the novel–
T: *crosses arms stubbornly* I’ve been working out for no reason.
Z: *pats his head* Don’t you worry. This is your chance to shine. To let the world (wide web) know more about you.
T: Fine, but lets go on the beach. Your fingers are getting prune and its grossing me out.
Z: *hides hands* I’m going to give you a series of random things and you have to pick the first one that comes to mind.
T: Okay, but shouldn’t you be writing book 2?
Z: Shhh. Summer or Winter?
Z: Blond or Brunette?
T: Brunette, def.
Z: Cake of Pie?
T: Cherry pie
Z: Buffy or Faith?
Z: Chicken or Bacon?
T: chicken WRAPPED in bacon?
Z: Girlfriend or One time make-out buddy?
T: You wouldn’t think so by looking at me, but, girlfriend.
Z: The book or the movie?
T: The book, but don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to ruin my rep.
Z: An eternity in the seven seas or finishing high school?
T: You can’t ask that! No spoilers!
Z: Phone or e-mail?
T: Neither. I like face to face time.
Z: Ocean or pool?
T: My scales look SICK in the pool when it’s light out and stuff. But The ocean stings my gills less. So it’s hard to choose.
Z: Zombies or Unicorns?
T: I haven’t met either– but I guess, unicorns wouldn’t try to eat me. Right….?
Z: Layla or Gwen?
T: Listen, lady! I said NO SPOILERS!
*pushes himself off the rock and swims away from me.*
He’s not usually so crabby. But, there you have it. Tristan Hart, a merman out of water.